Big Crib Time

For the past three and a half months--or should I say 16 weeks since that's the way we count "baby time"--Bronwen has been sleeping in a small crib, aka "cribette," next to our bed. This has been a great arrangement for her considering our distance apart at nighttime is approximately 24 inches, and I am catapulted out of bed at every whimper, grunt, and movement. This hasn't been so great for me.

With her being so close I have found that I more often than not end up bringing Bronwen into bed with me, so we both can get optimal sleep. I realize that this borders on the "shared sleeping" arrangement...okay, fine, it IS the shared sleeping arrangement, and I have never been a big believer in the "Family bed" notion. That is, until I had a baby and realized how much sleep we both got sleeping 3 inches apart.

The mom in me really treasures the snuggles and the closeness it brings. Still, the idea also brings about some guilt--like it's my dirty little secret that I would be ashamed to share. Part of me feels I am failing somehow as a parent because I am unable to get my baby to sleep through the night in her own bed. I have done reading--the Baby Whisperer calls it "accidental parenting," or mistakes parents make without knowing about it; damage they inflict upon their offspring that will take weeks or months to undo. Then there is Dr. Sears (seen on a whole slew of TV morning and talk shows including Dr. Phil, GMA, and 20/20) who wrote this really great article on shared sleeping (or co-sleeping) http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T071000.asp.

I actually exhaled a bunch of guilt upon reading this article; it felt so good to have some sort of permission to do what felt right! Then I read part of my NFP book that also encouraged the idea of sleeping with your babies for many of the same reasons Dr. Sears observed. Still, I have brought Bronwen to bed each night with me now for the past month or so, and I am worried that I am setting a precedent that will be hard to break when I am ready to have her sleep on her own.

The thing about the shared sleeping idea is I can't find much info on how to transition your child into her own bed. I figure I better work on this myself now, or TJ and I will need a bigger bed in the future!

Starting this past week I have been putting Bronwen to bed in her own crib in her nursery--which has, up until now, been used primarily as her nap time area. Keep in mind that each night I put her in "bed" before I go to sleep, and the first time she cries--usually around midnight--I just move her into bed with me. We don't start up that way, but inevitably that is how we finish. My thinking was if she goes to bed in her "real" crib and is not right next to me, perhaps I will sleep through some of the noises and movement that always cause me to awaken and bring her to me.

This is how it has been working thus far:

Day 1 (Thursday):
8:00pm Bronwen goes to sleep in her crib
9:00pm Cries. I go in and feed her a bit, rock her to sleep.
10:30pm Cries. I go in, pat her, rock her, get her back to sleep. I go to bed.
12:00am Bronwen awakens, I stumble in the nursery, debate on whether or not to feed and try and leave, and end up taking her with me to bed.

Day 2 (Friday):
7:30pm Bronwen goes to sleep in her crib.
8:30pm Cries.
9:30pm Cries.--I suspect the problem is that she is getting cold. I put a blanket around her and tuck into the mattress, but her incessant kicking made me skeptical that it will hold.
10:30pm I give her a dream feed.
12:30am She is awake, blankets kicked off, thrashing about wildly like a beached salmon. Limbs feel cold. I end up caving, bring her to bed in part to make sure she stays warm.

Day 3 (Saturday):
I put Bronwen in a sleeper--long sleeves and feet. (She was so cute! TJ commented that she looked like an astronaut, but I think he thought she was super-cute as well.)
7:30pm She goes to bed.
9:00pm Cries, but goes right back to sleep with just a cuddle.
10:00pm I get her to do a dream feed, and she eats like a champ without waking.
12:30am I hear her crying; I feed her and put her back in the crib.
12:50 am I can still hear her fidgeting, so I go in, soothe her, and she sleeps.
3:00am--She is hungry, so I bring her to bed with me, feed her, and we sleep until 6:30.

Yes! I held out until THREE AM. Woohoo!

Tonight will be Day 4. I am hoping that as she gets used to her crib she will sleep longer and longer and eventually not wake up hungry (or at all). I do put her down for her naps semi-awake, so she does know how to put herself to sleep. As for last night, I think the sleeper helped keep her comfortable, but it has only been one night, so time will tell if my theory about her getting cold is correct.

It's really hard to be a mom. (and a dad!)